Pink Chaddis

(written in Feb 2009)

The other day, my wife drew my attention to the Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose and Forward Women and their Pink Chaddi campaign. You know what's it like with us artist types - for months, no inspiration inspite of hours of staring at pics of Deepika Padukone, and then suddenly! wham!! something hits you on the side of your head like a large wet fish, and you hare off to the comp, thumping away at the keyboard like Willie the Sheik on one of his wilder mornings writing Lear or Hamlet or whatever.

Well, I had my wham!! moment with the magic words 'Pink Chaddis.' To pen the following ditty was the work of a couple of minutes:

You may think I'm foolish
For the foolish things I do
You may wonder how come I love you
When you get on my nerves like you do
Well baby you know you bug me
There ain't no secret 'bout that
Well come on over here and hug me
Baby I'll spill the facts
Well honey it ain't your money
'Cause baby I got plenty of that
I love you for your pink chaddis
Crushed smooth as silk
Riding round your butt
Sashaying down the street
Waving to the boys
Feeling out of sight
Spending all my money on you
On a Saturday night
Honey I just wonder what you do there in the pub
With your pink chaddis
Pink chaddis

Well now way back in the Bible
Temptations always come along
There's always somebody tempting
Somebody into doing something they know is wrong
Well they tempt you, man, with silver
And they tempt you, sir, with gold
And they tempt you with the pleasures
That the flesh does surely hold
They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple
But man I ain't going for that
I know it was her pink chaddis
Crushed silken seats
Riding round her butt
Swaying down the street
Waving to the boys
Feeling out of sight
Spending all my money on her
On a Saturday night
Honey I just wonder what you do there in the pub
With your pink chaddis

Now some folks say it's too big
And uses too much cloth
Folks say your butt's too old now
And the rest of you's none too hot
But my love is bigger than a Volvo
It's bigger than a Jumbojet
Hey man there's only one thing
And only one chaddi will do
Anyway you don't have to wear it
Just give it to young Muthalik
And tell him to party in your pink chaddis

From this to writing "Hark! hark! the lark at heavenski's gate singski" in the original Russian will be but a short mincing step.

Any resemblance the Pink Chaddi poem has to Bruce Springsteen's "Pink Cadillac" is purely coincidental and the figment of your own filthy imagination, dear reader! So there!!